The Wal Mart List

Rejoice evermore.
Pray without ceasing.
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
1Thess. 5:16-18

Dear God,
I think about you sometimes even when I am not praying.
Elliot
(Children's Letters to God)

You can tell a lot about someone by reading the Wal Mart list. My list would indicate a schizoid personality who roams the store searching for my blue collar holy grails, all the while getting my exercise, as I dart from one end of this retail giant to the other.

I have come to a conclusion, we are divided into Wal Mart and Target shoppers. Now, I know this is a generalization, but Wal Mart = dudes, Target = chicks . You cannot buy ammo at Target. The tool section is a pathetic cursory attempt at a man’s weapons. However, talking to a female friend of mine recently, it was "all Target, all the time!"

"The clothes at Target are much better than Wal Mart!" she cooed, and I’m thinking, I don’t recall seeing any Mossy Oak Camo at Target. The store is full of women, but I just don’t get it. All of the departments for guys seem just some feeble attempt to please us. Snoopy rods and reels in the fishing section, and then there is Wal Mart, top of the line Shimano reels and catfish stink bait to boot.

AllieCat loves Target. She asks me to go to Wal Mart for the gallons of Sam’s Water that SteveO consumes during these football months so I start scratching out my list, in no particular order, with the preparation of the Big Easy during Hurricane season. Wally World, here I come!

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My early years as a believer saw me involved in a religious organization that prided itself on discipleship. Looking back, it was more like religious legalism. Emphasis was placed on how much time you could "log in" reading your Bible and in prayer. Accountability, we called it. Traditions of men, I refer to it now.

Don’t misunderstand, accountability as a Christian is good. I have several friends that I have a loose understanding with who keep me in line. But this early attempt at discipleship turned my prayer life into a Wal Mart list. Scratch something down. Run from one end of your world to the other. Distractions galore. It became so exhausting that I didn't look forward to spending time with the One who saved my life. How ironic.

My mind works in a strange way. I think I have a touch of ADD, as it constantly flits from thought to thought. Maybe it is not strange, maybe that is how we all think. I will attempt to put words to my disassociate thoughts back then, sitting there with my note pad, locked away in what I thought was a "prayer closet".

"Ok…let’s see, praise you Lord…need to pray for Jack, Father, broke his arm in the touch football game…Lord, I lift…..wow, Auburn stinks this year. Are we ever going to have a good football team? Greg was wearing those bright orange pants at the game yesterday…what a goof…Oh yeah…Lord, I pray that you would help Jack…next, Father God, a financial need for Rob….Rob? How about me? Man, how are we going to pay the rent with AllieCat and I both in school? Man, I gotta study for that stats class…this is such a drag. Not you Lord...I repent..."

See how the ‘lock down’ prayer time didn’t work for me? It just became a ‘punching the clock’ routine, something I could show someone that I had met the accountability standards. I am not saying this type of prayer setting is wrong; it simply doesn't work for me. And because it didn't, it created guilt and lack of joy.

A friend of mine used the terms ‘pray-talking’ and ‘pray-thinking’ recently. It occurred to me that these words gave a name to how my prayer life is now. I now understand what Paul was talking about when he said to pray without ceasing. Most of my deep prayer time occurs now in the cab of my truck, on a deer stand, in my fishing boat, and on my walks. These places are my prayer closets.

I have learned to trust in Him, and allow my mind to drift, but not to the inane "orange pants" thoughts of my youth. Now my mind is filled with the meaningful impressions in the forefront of my life, the treasured people, the dynamic relationships, the relevant events that just naturally come to mind.

It is now my practice to take these thoughts and turn them in to conversations with my Master. There are times when a friend will come to mind, and I will get an overwhelming feeling, and a plethora of words are unnecessary; I just say "You know, Lord, you know." Other times, my conversation is just that, conversational. Instead of repeating "Lord, Father God", etc. every five words, it is more like, "Wow, that was so cool of You to help me with that meeting today. It was so stressful at first, but I sure am thankful You gave me a peace once we got started. Turned out pretty good, don’t you think?"

This may seem irreverent to some. I have moved past that, for I am deeply aware of the sacrificial gift of grace He has imparted into my life. For this, I cannot find the words, as I am pray-thinking about it as I type.

Mark
Prov. 17:22